


Behind This Broken Mask I Hide

by starbuckyy



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Canon Queer Character, Coming Out, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Lots of Angst, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Queerplatonic Relationships, Trans Character, Transgender, Unrequited Love, leo yells at ppl on behalf of nico, nico yells at ppl on behalf of leo, platonic kissing possibly, yes there will be cuddles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-13 07:37:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1217911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbuckyy/pseuds/starbuckyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>As soon as his siblings had turned their backs on him, Leo’s shoulders slumped, and the cheerful smile he had been supporting slipped off his face. It was as though the life support to his happiness had been cut. He slumped forwards over the table slightly, his face tired and drawn.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was then that Nico realised that he wasn’t the only person in Camp Halfblood with a defense mechanism.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>or the one where Leo and Nico realise how broken they both are in different (but oh so similar) ways and help eachother fix themselves.</p>
<p>this story is on hiatus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Humour Was A Good Way To Hide The Pain

**Author's Note:**

> ayo so i hecked up and set this in july, but its also set just a few months after the whole gaia battle happened which in the books took place in, yep u guessed it, july.  
> so for the sake of my trashiness, the gaia battle actually happened in around march okay  
> ALSO i dont know how much of this i will write. i have most of the second chapter done, but im not sure what will happen beyond that.  
> if i do write more there is a high chance that i will make leo trans. u have been warned.

_"He was the class clown, the court jester, because he'd learnt early that if you cracked jokes and pretended you weren't scared, you usually didn't get beaten up. Even the baddest gangster kids would tolerate you, keep you around for laughs. Plus, humour was a good way to hide the pain."_

The Lost Hero, pg 80

 

XXXXX

 

Leo was an upbeat, happy fellow. He could always be seen with a smile on his face, trying to make others around him smile with his crappy jokes and over buoyant personality. He never took anything seriously, and his main mission in life was to annoy the shit out of everyone in his general vicinity, maybe even further if he could manage it.

Or that's what everyone thought. As soon as people turned away, the smile would slide off his face and his shoulders would sag, leaving the shell of a teenager, devoid of his usual cheerfulness. Leo's overzealous characteristics were second nature to him now. He had no control over it; he simply couldn't stop himself being annoying. It was a defence mechanism- well, that's what that one therapist he'd had at that one foster home had told him before he'd run away. He'd always been a sunny and smiley kid, even before his mother died, but after the accident it had expanded. It was like a barrier between him and the outside world; if no one saw how sad he truly was, no one could attack him for it.

It was more than that, though. He'd realised recently, as he had made another shitty joke at dinner and a kid from the Ares cabin told him to _grow the fuck up already, Valdez_ , that he had no idea who he was anymore. His entire personality seemed to be a coping mechanism. He had no clue where the mask ended and Leo began.

That wasn't to say he didn't have fun; many of his smiles were genuine, and his laughter honest. He often got lost in the moment, until he realised that no one was laughing, or that people were glaring at him. Then he always felt hollow.

He walked alone through the woods at Camp Half-Blood. That was the key point- he was alone. At that moment in time, he could have been surrounded by all of his friends, and he still would have felt like he was the only one on earth. The words of Nemesis echoed in his head. _The outsider. The seventh wheel. You will not find a place among your brethren._

He let out a bitter laugh. He'd been _so damn excited_ at the beginning of that quest. He was delighted at the chance to make new friends, and form closer bonds to the few he already had. Well, it hadn't taken long for that idea to crash and burn.

It was dark, and well after curfew. Most half-bloods didn't dare leave their cabins at this time, out of fear of being eaten by the harpies, but this was no problem for Leo. Harpies were afraid of fire, and so they avoided him as much as they could.

That was why it was a shock for him to hear the snapping of a twig ahead. He ducked behind a tree and realised he was at the edge of a clearing.

A few trees to his left, about a quarter way round the clearing away from him, sitting on the floor with his back against the trunk and his legs curled up into him, was Nico di Angelo.

Leo hadn't even known the son of Hades had been in Camp Half-Blood. It was July, so the camp was a lot more full than it was in the other seasons, but Leo hadn't seen the younger demigod around. He had the feeling that Nico hadn't been here long.

He was just about to step out from his hiding place when he realised that Nico was crying.

Pain-filled sobs wracked through his chest, making Leo's heart clench in sympathy. For some reason he'd never imagined Nico being upset, or in pain like this. Despite always being moody, the son of death had always seemed strong to Leo. Maybe it was the way he'd never shown weakness, not once, at the way people treated him for his parentage. Or maybe it was the way that the boy had crawled his way through Tartarus, seeing it in a much worse way than Percy or Annabeth had, and made it out alive.

Thinking of both of those things made Leo realise how totally understandable it was that the kid was crying.

He was just about to try and sneak away when a figure started to appear in the centre of the clearing. It was as though she was forming from the air itself, becoming more and more solid.

The lady standing there was wearing a gorgeous full-length purple dress. She was truly beautiful, but Leo couldn't work out what colour her hair or eyes were. The colours kept shifting, as she became more and more beautiful.

Leo realised that she seemed to be adapting herself to his ideals of beauty.

" _Aphrodite_ ," he breathed. Damn, Piper's mum was stunning.

Nico's head snapped up, and he scrambled to his feet, pulling out his pitch black sword.

"Who are you?" he demanded, his voice thick with tears. He sniffed and quickly wiped at his eyes.

"My dear Nico di Angelo, you know who I am. You summoned me, after all." Aphrodite's voice was powerful. It made the hairs on Leo's arms stand up. Nico, however, frowned.

"No, I didn't."

She smiled at him, albeit a little sadly.

"You did, I'm afraid, although it may not have been on purpose. You thought ' _gods help me_ ,’ among... other things. I'm here to help and give advice to you the best I can."

"You're Aphrodite, aren't you? Wait, but hundreds of people must want help with their problems. Why did you come to me? There are people out there more deserving of your help."

Leo frowned at that. He may not have been Nico's best friend, but he respected the kid. He'd been through a lot, and he was still standing, which was an amazing achievement for a demigod. Sure, he'd heard about that time the son of Hades tricked Percy into entering his father's lair, but that had only happened once, right? Besides, Leo didn't like to pass judgement without the story from both sides anyway. He hadn't even heard it from Percy directly; he'd heard it from Jason, who'd heard it from Piper, who'd been told by Annabeth. This had all been before he had met the dark haired demigod, and when all he'd heard of the boy they were headed to rescue were stories.

Aphrodite, however, nodded as if this were a good question.

"I took pity on you," she told him. "Also... certain gods have been pestering me to speak to you."

Nico visibly flinched at that, and Leo frowned, confusedly. She meant Hades, right?

"Well, can you help me? Can you make this go away?" Nico gestured outwards slightly, looking uncomfortable but determined.

That was when Leo remembered what Aphrodite was goddess of. _Oh_.

The goddess in question smiled sadly and shook her head.

"I cannot help in the way you want, I'm afraid," she told him. "I wish I could, really, but love is never that simple, and it causes much pain. You are aware of this."

Nico scowled. "That's putting it mildly."

"No matter how much pain it causes you though, son of Hades, you _will_ come out the other side better for it. You will have learnt a lot."

Nico's scowl deepened. "Can you solve the other bit though? Make it go away? Fix it?"

Now it was Aphrodite's turn to frown.

"Fix it? My dear, there is nothing to fix! Love for a half-blood is never simple, especially-" she froze, and turned her head towards the spot where Leo stood, partially hidden. Her eyes met his. There was no anger in them, yet he still shivered.

He knew what had alerted her to his presence. She'd noticed him mere seconds after a single name had popped into his head, mere seconds after he felt his heart split in two.

 _Calypso_.

Aphrodite turned back to Nico. "You have company. Do not fault him, he did not mean to eavesdrop." With that, she vanished, as suddenly as she'd appeared.

Nico turned to look at the place Aphrodite had seen Leo. The son of Hephaestus stepped forwards into the clearing.

It was the first time he could actually see the younger demigod, and he began to feel nauseous. Nico's naturally olive skin was deathly pale, with a slight green tint to it. The bags under his eyes looked like bruises, and he was so thin Leo wondered if he'd eaten anything at all since they'd last met. His hands were shaking, and he looked so brittle that Leo was worried he might snap in two if he fell over, or flake away like Voldemort did at the end of the last Harry Potter movie. His skin definitely looked see-through enough. His eyes were sunken, and his hair was even longer than Leo remembered it, hanging messily around the boy's shoulders. He looked sick. He looked dead.

Nico just stared at him. For once, his gaze was devoid of any anger. He just looked... resigned.

They stood there in silence for a good minute or so, before Leo realised that if he didn't break this silence, it would probably never end.

"Titanic," he said.

Nico frowned. "What?"

"Sorry, I thought that would be a good icebreaker. I was wrong."

Nico's lips twitched upwards in an almost smile. Leo was shocked, and he felt a small spark light at the end of his right index finger, which he quickly extinguished before it was noticed.

For Nico di Angelo an almost smile was rare, and Leo was delighted that he was he one to almost put it there. It wasn't that he fancied Nico or anything, just that he felt the other demigod deserved better, he deserved to be happy, and Leo _loved_ making people happy. Also, he was used to much more negative reactions to his jokes, and to be honest he'd expected Nico to be exasperated or annoyed at the very least.

"I'm not going to tell you who it is," Nico told him bluntly.

Leo raised his hands. "I wasn't gonna ask," he said. Then he smiled at him.

Nico scowled. "If you dare make fun of me, I swear on the River Styx I'll impale you with my sword."

The smile slid from Leo's face. He would _never_ make fun of anything like this, not when he saw how much pain it caused Nico. "I wasn't going to- I would never- okay," he said, resigned.

Nico slid back down the trunk of his tree, curling into a ball again. "Sorry," he said, in a quiet voice.

Leo walked over and sat cross-legged on the floor next to him. He was rummaging around in his tool belt.

"It's okay. You want some hot chocolate?" Out of his belt he pulled a warm flask and a couple of mugs. He offered one to Nico, and poured out some of the chocolatey liquid.

"I didn't know you could get hot chocolate from your belt."

"Neither did I."

Nico gave another almost smile at that, and took a large sip. The colour was already returning to his cheeks slightly, making him look a little less dead.

That was when Leo Valdez decided that he was going to make Nico di Angelo properly smile (or laugh, although that seemed considerably more difficult) if it was the last thing he did.


	2. Not Enough To Set Me Apart

_"I'm the son of Hades, Jason. I might as well be covered in blood or sewage, the way people treat me. I don't belong anywhere. I'm not even from this century. But even that's not enough to set me apart. I've got to be- to be-""_

The House of Hades, pg 428

 

XXXXX

 

Nico was a freak. He was an outcast, never fitting in anywhere, never belonging. He scared people, radiating an aura of death. The fact he glared at everything probably didn't help either. He went out of his way to avoid talking to people, spending most of his time in the underworld, hanging out with the dead. He wasn't someone you'd want on your bad side, but he definitely wasn't someone you'd invite round for sunday lunch.

Or thats what everyone thought. In fact- wait, no, that was actually the truth. _He_ was _a freak_ , he thought bitterly, stabbing moodily at his sausage. It was breakfast at camp halfblood, and he was alone at his table. Hazel had offered to come with him, but he couldn't ask her to leave Frank. He'd arrived last night, just before-

Oh, yeah. _Leo_.

Nico glanced up to where the curly haired demigod was seated at the Hephaestus table. He was smiling and elbowing his brother, who gave him an annoyed look. There were only five children from cabin nine seated for breakfast. The rest of them must have overslept, Nico supposed.

He hadn't been at camp halfblood since he and Reyna had dropped off the Athena Parthenos. They'd managed to arrive with it just in time to prevent the demigod civil war, but Nico had been so exhausted from shadow traveling that he'd spent two days out cold. When he woke up again, he'd left.

He hadn't seen any of the others since they split paths in Rome. He knew Jason would be miffed at him, but he couldn't stay and wait for Percy to come back. He just _couldn't_.

He'd arrived late to breakfast, having slept badly the previous night, so most people were already seated. When he entered the pavilion, a few people did double takes. Piper jumped up, and ran over, pulling him into a hug.

"Nico! It's been so long!"

Nico froze. He was happy to see Piper and the others too, and he knew she was trying to be affectionate, but he really didn't like being touched. There were a few exceptions to this, Hazel being one of them, but for the most part Nico avoided all physical contact.

Jason came to the rescue, prising his girlfriend off of him. When he looked up again, he saw he was surrounded by the crew from the Argo II, with the exception of Leo, who'd greeted him the night before.

"Nico doesn't like being touched, Pipes," Jason told her. He was smiling down at the Nico though, and he held out his hand.

"Welcome back, mate," he said. His hand had a firm grip.

Percy clapped him on the back, and he flinched slightly.

"Yeah, it's good to see you again!"

Annabeth kissed him on the cheek, and thanked him for returning her mothers statue safely. He assured her it had been his pleasure.

After some small talk where Piper asked how Hazel was, they all headed back to their tables. Percy gave Annabeth a quick kiss and a warm smile, before taking his seat at the Poseidon table. Nico settled himself at the Hades table, with a painful twisting in his gut, trying to tell his lungs to _just breathe goddammit_.

He acted as though he couldn't hear the whispers, as if he didn't know what they were saying. However much he pretended otherwise, he knew what they all thought of him, and he knew they were right. It was one of the reasons he avoided Camp Half-blood. He had trouble feeling normal without the constant reminders of how much of an outcast he was. He knew he pushed people away from him, and he believed that the only reason he radiated death was to subconsciously make people less likely to want to be close to him. Then he couldn't be hurt by them when they inevitably realised how much of a freak he was.

It was a defence mechanism. He was moody and negative to protect himself. It was a shield, a wall between him and the outside world.

He heard Leo’s laugh from a few tables away and looked up again. He was smiling widely, clearly enjoying some sort of joke. His four siblings didn’t seem to find his humour contagious, however, as they stood up together, frowning at Leo. They left him sitting alone at table nine, walking back to their cabin together.

As soon as his siblings had turned their backs on him, Leo’s shoulders slumped, and the cheerful smile he had been supporting slipped off his face. It was as though the life support to his happiness had been cut. He slumped forwards over the table slightly, his face tired and drawn.

It was then that Nico realised that he wasn’t the only person in Camp Halfblood with a defense mechanism.

He stood up abruptly, picking up his plate of sausages and bacon, and walked over to table nine.

He sat down on the bench next to Leo, his plate making a clatter as he placed it on the table with a little too much force, making the other demigod look up in alarm.

"Nico! Hey- wait, what are you doing?"

"I'm sitting here to eat breakfast," Nico stated, staring at Leo like it was obvious.

"Um, I don't think that's allowed, man."

"Does it look like I care?"

"Fair enough."

Nico may not have cared, but the same could not be said for the other campers. They were all staring and whispering, some standing up to get a better look. Many where sending Chiron anxious looks, as he was the only one sitting (or standing) at the head table that morning. It was true that if Mr D had been there Nico may not have risked moving, but when Chiron made eye contact with him he just stared back defiantly. Chiron sighed, and went back to his meal. He seemed to realise that this was important to the son of Hades.

The other children didn't have the same courtesy, however. Even the other travellers from the Argo II were staring. Nico shifted awkwardly. He knew that if it were anyone else, people would be slightly surprise, but as it was him, people were dumfounded. _Nico di Angelo NEVER talks to anyone but his sister,_ they were saying _. Not voluntarily, at least._

The whispers where getting louder, until people were talking at normal volume about it. He hadn't needed extra clarity to be sure of what they were saying about him.

He was staring at his plate, trying to block out the noise of the world around him when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly.

"Ignore them Nico, they're arseholes." Leo's face was kind and certain.

"Huh?"

"They're wrong. They're also all complete dipshits. You'd think the children of gods would be slightly less twatty but no." The last no was elongated. Nico almost smiled, and a clap of thunder sounded overhead.

"I think you offended some of the gods." Nico said, smirking slightly.

"Tell your children to be less twatty then!" Leo called up to the sky, earning glares from the tables around him.

People kept staring and gossiping however, and Nico shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't like people staring at me," he admitted.

"Don't worry man, they're all just checking me out! Everyone wants a piece of The Leo!" He flexed his muscles, and waggled his eyebrows. Nico almost smiled, and rolled his eyes. 

Leo grinned at him, and started up a conversation about some robot skeletons he was making. For the first time he could remember since Bianca's death, Nico was enjoying a conversation. Talking to Leo was easy and effortless, the older demigod filling in silences when Nico ran out of things to say. Maybe he should follow his impulses more often; sitting at table nine didn't seem to have any negative effects.

Just then, the tablecloth next to where Nico's hand was resting set on fire. The son of Hades jerked his hands away, but the fire followed him, sliding off the table and onto his lap.

"Uh, Leo? My lap's on fire." Nico wondered if he'd succeeded in managing not to sound panicked. He reckoned not.

"Oh, shit." Leo tried to pat out the fire, but it didn't seem to want to go out. He groaned, and turned back to the sky.

"Dad, Nico is my friend. If I promise he'll leave the table, will you please put out the fire that is currently threatening his dong?"

Nico was going redder and redder, and he glared at Leo, punching him on the arm. The son of Hephaestus yelped. He tried patting out the fire on Nico's crotch again, this time the flame went down and Leo grinned upwards.

"Thanks dad."

Nico grumbled slightly, and stood up.

"I should be leaving you then."

"What? No!" Leo scrambled up from the table, grabbing a piece of toast. "I'm coming with you!"

Nico almost smiled again.

"Sooooo," Leo said, his mouth full of toast, as they walked away from the pavilion. "You wanna do some sward training? There's a group that starts at 9! Unless you want to go and.... recuperate after that.... unfortunate incident. You know, the one where your dong nearly set on fire." Leo's eyes were dancing with mirth.

"I'll set _your_ dong on fire in a minute," Nico muttered.

Leo froze up and suddenly his smile looked forced.

"Haha, yeah. So d'ya wanna do some sward training?"

Nico stared at Leo curiosly. He wasn't one of those dudes who was sensitive about his dick size was he?

"Yeah, sure," he agreed. "Why not?"

Nico could think of a good few reasons why not once he turned up and saw who was running the training session. He froze. Leo noticed that he'd left Nico a few steps behind and turned back, frowning.

"Hey man, are you okay?"

Nico tried to swallow the lump in his throat, and forced a smiled at Leo, trying to hide his shaking hands behind his back.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good," he said, his voice a tiny bit higher than usual.  

Percy Jackson walked over, smiling at them.

"Hey guys! If you're here for the training session, we'll be starting in a few minutes. We're just waiting for Annabeth to arrive, then we can begin."

Nico flinched at the mention of Annabeth's name, trying not to think about the amount of affection Percy put into those three syllables.

His hands were shaking violently, and he wrung them together. He made the mistake of looking up from the ground, and Percy's beautiful green eyes pierced him, filled with worry. Nico was finding it hard to breathe. Suddenly he was ten years old again, standing on the edge of a cliff and staring in awe at the boy who stood before him, at the hero who saved him.

He'd told Jason he was over Percy, but he had been lying through his teeth. He was pretty sure Jason picked up on that, but he tried to think of thr incident on Croatia as little as he could. Thinking of it now only brought tears to his eyes, and made his hands shake even more.

"Yeah, that sounds great," he said, trying not to let his voice waver at all. "Leo and I better get our armour on." He grabbed Leo's arm, and dragged him over to where the weapons and armour was stacked.

Leo gave him a puzzling look, and Nico turned away, scowling. He didn't want Leo to ask any questions that may lead to him connecting the dots about the previous night. Leo seemed to realise that Nico wanted him to drop the subject, so he grabbed a helmet, jammed it on his head, and picked up a sword.

"Luke, I am your father," he said in a solemn voice.

Nico frowned. "What?"

Leo pulled off his helmet, looking scandalised. "Dude! You haven't seen Star Wars?"

"What's Star Wars?" Nico asked, perplexed.

"Only one of the greatest movie series' of all time!"

"I haven't actually seen any movies," Nico admitted. "Well, apart from this one silent black and white one that my mum took Bianca and me to see back in '38. Movies with colour and sound were far too expensive for us to go too, which is ironic as my dad's the god of wealth. I'm assuming movies have changed a lot since then?"

Leo gaped at Nico. "I... You..." He ran his fingers through his curly hair, a wild look in his eyes. He took a deep breath. "Okay, we're officially having a movie night. Scratch that, every other night we're having a movie night. More often if we can manage it. We'll start with old classics like Hercules and The Sound of Music, then we'll- shit, you haven't seen any disney movies! Or any Harry Potters! Shit shit shit!"

Leo was running his fingers through his hair and spinning around. He was even more active than he usually was, seeming to be unable to stand still for more than one moment. His tshirt caught on fire, but he didn't seem to notice. "The Lord of the Rings! And The Hobbit! Shit, you'll have missed reading them too! I'll need to get you copies of all the classic books, and oh shit, music as well! Man, you've missed so much! Oh shit, you missed The Beatles! And _Brittany Spears!_ This is a disaster! We'll have to have music lessons too- and oh wait, you haven't seen any TV! Gods, this is- This is-" His whole body was vibrating now. His hands where flapping, and they were starting to smoke. He had flames dancing in his hair, and he kept jumping up and down, and pacing back and forth. Nico took a step forwards, and put a tentative hand on his shoulder, one of the few fire free places.

"Leo, take a deep breath and calm down. You're on fire."

"Wait, wha- _oh shit!"_ Leo started patting himself down, and extinguishing fired from his hair and fingers. He smiled apologetically, still bouncing up and down. "Sorry mate, I can't help it some times. But you know I'm gonna have to tutor you in all the stuff you missed, right? We'll start with films tonight in bunker nine. Accompany me there after dinner?"

Nico stared slightly. Leo actually wanted to spend time with him? This was... unprecedented, to say the least. He should probably say no. He didn't want himself getting too close to Leo, after all, getting close to people always ended badly for the son of Hades.

"Sure," he heard his traitor mouth say. He couldn't bring himself to regret it after he saw the smile that lit up the older demigod's face though. Well, he could always shadow travel away if he thought things were getting too personal.

At that moment, he heard Percy call them over, and his heart clenched at the sound of the son of Poseidon's voice.

 _Oh well,_ he thought. _I'm already fucked_.

 


	3. It Still Made Him Feel Like They Didn't Need Him

_"Getting frozen out - story of his life - by his relatives, foster homes, you name it. Even at wilderness School Leo had spent the last few weeks feeling like a third wheel as Jason and Piper, his only friends, became a couple. He was happy for them and all, but it still made him feel like they didn't need him any more."_

The Lost Hero, pg 250

 

XXXXX

 

Leo lasted another three whole days before he cracked.

He and Nico had watched The Wizard of Oz the night before, and though Nico said he had been very impressed, watching the film in a state of awe, he hadn't smiled once. He didn't even tell Leo off for singing along. Something was _definitely_ up with this kid. 

He'd also leant Nico the first Harry Potter book, despite the fact that Nico was a rather slow reader for his age, having come from the thirties and spent seventy years in stasis. When Leo offered to order it in Italian for him, Nico frowned.

"How? I mean, I've heard a tiny bit about computers- never used one of course- but I thought halfbloods couldn't use electronics?"

"We can't, usually," Leo admitted. "I may have made a computer. Well, I had to smuggle in some parts. The Stoll brothers helped with that. The one I made is relatively untraceable by monsters, but I wouldn't risk using it outside camp anyway. No, it's staying here. It's too big to move in any case."

Seeing Nico's confused expression, Leo sighed. He lead Nico through tunnels, weaving further and further into the hillside. Bunker Nine was enormous; Leo reckoned he'd only uncovered around 10% of it. 

Finally he lead Nico into a room that was relatively small compared to some of the others. On one side, built into the wall in some places, was a massive machine. Nico gaped at it.

"Are all computers that big?" He asked finally.

"Gods no!" Leo laughed. "They're usually tiny. This is my special modified machine. The only one on earth." He smiled fondly at the machine. "Like I said, it isn't as traceable by monsters, and also the internet has to be pretty fucking powerful to reach through all this rock. Took me a while to figure out how to do it. And it has some... other cool features" 

Nico his eyebrows, but Leo could tell he was secretly impressed. "What does Chiron think about this?"

"...... Chiron and Mr. D may not know about this. I sort of told them I was ordering things by mail. Also they don't know I have a massive screen and a DVD player in here so they don't realise I'm buying films and books and stuff. They think I'm buying special parts I need to build things."

"Mm hmm. And where are you getting the money?"

Leo blushed slightly and looked down at his feet. "Chiron offered to pay, and he did at first, but I felt guilty because he thinks I'm buying parts, not the Lord of The Rings extended edition boxset."

"So how are you buying things?"

"I may have hacked into some rich peoples bank accounts," Leo said in a rush. "I mean, seriously rich people. I could take a million dollars and they wouldn't notice. I just take about $50 from each person though, they'll never notice it's gone."

"Leo," Nico stared at him disapprovingly.

"C'mon Nico, these people have like, six mansions each, and I don't even have many possessions other than these movies. Also they'd be dead if it weren't for us. Everyone would be. We saved the world, dude, we've earned a little thievery from rich assholes."

Nico stared for a few more seconds, mulling over what Leo had said. "Fair enough," he shrugged. "And yeah, my Italian is slightly rusty, so one of those copies may help me refresh it slightly."

Leo nodded and logged into the computer. "We can watch things in Italian subtitles too, well, when we get to movies that actually have Italian subtitles."

"That would be cool," Nico nodded. Then he almost smiled. Dammit, what would it take to get this kid to properly smile?

He nearly cracked then, and asked the question he'd sworn he wouldn't ask. Asking would only put Nico on the defensive- it wouldn't help anyone. 

XXXXX

Leo was woken up the next day by his half sister Nyssa. She was standing over his bed, rapping on his head with her fist in an attempt to wake him up. She had lifted his bed into the main area (damn, Leo knew he shouldn't have given her the passcode he'd made) and was looking at him with a slightly bemused look on her face. 

"What?" He grumbled, still mostly asleep.

"That Hades kid, Nico or whatever, is here to see you."

Now that woke Leo up. He sat upright, looking around. "What? Where is he?"

Nyssa pointed to the door where Nico stood awkwardly, trying to ignore the stares of the dozen Hephaestus children, who were about as subtle as a herd of elephants. 

Leo hopped out of bed, and walked over to the door, still in his pyjamas.

"Nico! Welcome to the Hephie cabin! How may I be of service at this ungodly hour?"

Nico frowned. "Leo it's almost nine- wait did you just say the 'hephie cabin'?" 

"Yeah!" Leo bounced up and down excitedly. "It's what we-"

"No we didn't!" One of Leo's brothers, Shane, yelled over at them.

"It's what I nicknamed the cabin," Leo continued without a pause.

Nodding slightly, Nico almost smiled. "Okay. Well, anyways, I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" Leo tried to hide the hurt and upset from his voice, though he knew he wasn't good at it. He had thought Nico actually liked hanging out with him! Well, it just goes to show that everyone did find him annoying in the end. They all learnt to hate him.

Nico seemed to see this all playing out on Leo's face, because his voice seemed slightly panicked as he spoke, in a slightly higher pitch than usual.

"Not for long! I'm only going to Camp Jupiter to visit Hazel, I should be back by tonight! It's her birthday, I remembered this morning." 

Leo didn't like to think about the way that made his chest loosen, and how much easier breathing became. He blocked all those thoughts from his mind, instead smiling at the younger demigod.

"Cool! D'ya wanna watch another film tonight?"

"Sure," Nico said, and he almost smiled. "See you later?" 

"Yeah! Tell Hazel I say hi, and that I wish her a happy birthday! Oh, and tell Frank that he better be treating her well," Leo called after the younger demigod, who waved behind him to acknowledge his words. 

He shut the door behind turned around to find most of his siblings staring at him. 

"What?" He demanded, immediately on the defence. 

A chorus of "nothing!"'s came from all around him, and he frowned. He knew exactly what they were thinking. 

He hated how everyone assumed that what they saw of a person was all that person was, that they thought that everyone was two dimensional and they knew everything the needed to about people. There was much more to Nico than his antisocial tendencies and deathly powers. Surely Leo wasn't the only one who saw that?

But apparently he was. 

XXXXX

He was sitting alone at the top of the amphitheatre, eating a sandwich. Lunch was drawing to a close and he didn’t feel like sitting with his siblings so he’d just taken a sandwich and left the table. He hadn’t been hungry at all but he’d felt Jason and Piper’s eyes trained on him and knew that they would be paying attention to the little things he did for a while.

Sure enough, he'd just started the second half his sandwich when they'd showed up. Annabeth and Percy were with them.

"Hey Leo! Are you okay?" Jason looked concernedly at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Why d'you ask?"

Jason shuffled awkwardly, and Piper took over the reigns of the conversation.

"Oh it's just, you're sitting here alone instead of eating with your family. Also you usually eat much more than just one sandwich."

As always when Piper spoke, Leo felt a was of calm run over him, the warmth seeping through his veins. He felt himself relax slightly and smiled up at her. 

"Nah, I just needed some alone space. I'm good."

The other four demigods took seats around him, as he took another bite of his sandwich. In his head, he counted down from ten.

_Ten._

"So are you doing archery after lunch?"

"Yup."

_Eight_.

"Working on any new projects?"

"Yeah, a few cool ones."

_Five_. 

"How's Festus doing?"

"He's happy, which is good."

_Three._

"You want some water?"

"Nah, I'm good."

_One._

"So.... You and Nico seem to be hanging out together a lot."

Leo smiled wryly to himself. _Right on schedule._

"If by 'a lot' you mean 'the last few evenings', then yeah, we are hanging out a lot."

"It wasn't just that though," Percy said. "We heard that he went to your cabin this morning."

Leo rolled his eyes. "I should have known that that would be all over camp by now. Fuckin' gossips."

"So it's true?" Jason asked.

"So what if it is? Why are you so interested?"

"I- No- We're not- I'm just-" Leo raised his eyebrows at the son of Jupiter's bumbling. Piper took over again, patting her boyfriend's arm sympathetically.

"We're worried about you Leo, that's all." 

Leo frowned at that. He had a bad feeling about where this was going.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just... you've never hung out with Nico before and-"

"You're worried about me because I'm spending time with Nico." A chill ran through Leo, and he suddenly was find it difficult to breathe. The others were shifting awkwardly.

"Well, you see, Nico isn't exactly what you'd call a stable friend," Annabeth said in a sympathetic voice.

"He betrayed me to Hades a few years ago," Percy nodded. "No one knows where his loyalties actually lie."

"With us! His loyalties lie _with us!_ He helped us destroy Gaia, he saved you from Tartarus, isn't that enough?" Leo was shaking, his voice raising in pitch. Percy tried to backtrack.

"No- it's just- the last child of Hades started world war two. They're dangerous."

Leo stared at Percy. "Is Hazel dangerous? Was Bianca dangerous? Like I said before, was him _helping save the world_ not enough for you?"

Jason placed a hand on the son of Hephaestus' shoulder, trying to placate the boy. "Leo, we're only trying to help you."

"And you!" Leo rounded on Jason. "I though you were the captain of the Nico di Angelo defence squad since whatever went down in Croatia? What changed?"

Jason looked away awkwardly.

"I've spent three days hanging out with him! Three days! He was born in the _thirties_ , don't any of you remember that? He's missed out on a lot and I'm helping to reeducate him, _that's all!_ I'm just giving him some general knowledge on pop culture and movies and books and things! And it's a _lot fucking more_ than any of you have done for the kid!"

"Leo, we-"

"No! No, have you ever thought of what things are like for him? He was _ten_ when he was dropped in an entirely new time, lost his sister, and found out that he was literally the son of death. We can't even begin to understand how hard things have been for him, and you all make everything worse by treating him like he has the fucking plague! He's only fourteen, he'a a fucking kid, and you treat him like a- like a _freak_! Maybe if you were nice to him, he'd be less cold to you, have you ever considered that? No, because you, and everyone else at this camp, just assume that what you see of a person is everything they are. Well, you know what? Fuck you." Leo stood up, and brushed some crumbs off his trousers before storming off, leaving the others staring after him in shock. 

XXXXX

Leo was sitting in bunker nine, still fuming, when Nico returned. 

"Hey," he said, making Leo jump. "How're you?"

"I'm good, yeah. How's Hazel?"

"She's great, yeah she's really happy and she's spending lots of time with Frank." Nico frowned at him. "You don't look though. Are you sure y-"

"I'm _fine_ , Nico!" Leo snapped, before sighing and covering his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, I just don't wanna talk about it. It's been a stressful day." 

Nico walked over and plopped himself down on the beanbag next to the older demigod. 

"What film are we watching today then?" Nico asked.

Leo smiled at him, albeit a little subduedly. "I was thinking the sound of music. It's a classic, set during world war two. There's a musical of it too in theatres all over the world. I'm pretty sure it's based off a true story."

He rummaged through his box of movies, looking for the DVD. When he found it, he placed it in the DVD player, and sat back down on his red beanbag. 

While waiting for the ads to end and the film to start, Leo sneaked peeks and Nico, getting a good look at him. The bags under his eyes were less prominent than a few days ago, yet still dark like bruises under Nico's tired eyes. His skin, though slightly more colourful, was still pale and sickly green looking, thanks to the boy's natural olive skin tone. 

He still looked sick. 

There was pain in his eyes, far too much for any fourteen year old. Leo's heart went out to Nico in that moment; he saw himself in the son of Hades. The boy had so many walls, so many lines of defence between him and the outside world. 

Maybe it was that that prompted him to ask the question, the question he'd sworn he wouldn't ask. Maybe it was the reflection of himself that he saw in the younger boy sitting next to him, cowering into himself as if to make himself seem smaller. 

"Are you okay?"

Nico startled forward slightly, shocked out of his thoughts by the question. 

"Yeah, why?" 

"No, I mean _really_ , are you okay?" Leo didn't quite know how to put the question into words, but he must've done the job because he saw Nico stiffen slightly where he was sitting.

"I'm fine," he said rigidly, giving Leo all the answer he needed.

"No you're not. You're really not." He didn't want to push, or seem rude, but he couldn't help himself. He needed Nico to know that there was _someone_ who was there for him.

"How do you know?" Nico asked coldly.

"Because I see myself in you," Leo admitted quietly. "I mean, in different ways."

Nico stared at him for a moment, before slumping back in his beanbag, all the stiffness leaving his body. Instead of looking relaxed, as one would expect, the boy just looked... resigned.

"Things have been... hard," he admitted after a moment. "Since Bianca died, things have been hard. Especially recently, I've been... struggling."

"Is it about the thing you and Aphrodite were discussing?" 

"Partly, yeah." Nico studied Leo, his eyes calculating but not cold. He seemed to be considering something. "You know, I like you Leo. Maybe one day I'll even tell you about it. Not right now though." 

Leo smiled at him kindly. "If you think it will help, you can talk to me about anything. I'm always here. Even at like, 2am. You can always come find me."

"Thank's Leo." 

"Anytime. Literally."


	4. do we really know where his loyalties lie?

_"I remember Nico from Camp Jupiter. Now I find out  he also visited Camp Half-Blood. That does strike me as… well, a little shady. Do we really know where his loyalties lie? We just have to be careful."_

_-_ Jason Grace, The Mark of Athena, pg 173  

"Hey, guess what?" About a week had passed when Nico walked into bunker nine carrying two bags of mcdonalds and two drinks, calling out to the boy tinkering on a small metal dog on his worktable. Leo looked up, smiling.

"I don't know, what?"

"Well, I popped over to New Rome on the way to mcdonalds-" Nico broke off as Leo laughed.

"Sorry, I just- you 'popped over to the other side of the country on the way down to the mcdonalds about a mile from here'. The beauty of teleportation, ay?" Nico almost smiled.

Over the last week, Leo had come to learn that an almost smile for Nico was pretty much the equivalent of a smile for anyone else. Leo could even imagine was Nico laughing would be like. (He'd decided that Nico's (often wry) chuckle didn't count as a laugh. He didn't open his mouth so it didn't count.

"Yeah, well, Hazel and Frank are coming to visit! I'm going to pick them up tomorrow."

"Oh my gods, that's so awesome! How long are they staying for?"

"They haven't decided yet."

"Hey, maybe she could join our pop culture education sessions! She missed loads too, right?"

Nico nodded. "Yeah, that'd be nice. I have a feeling she'd really like the beatles.

"You just wait until we get to eighties music," Leo informed him. "Gods, that was something."

"I'll bare that in mind. It'll be nice to share my cabin with Hazel though; it's getting rather lonely in there. Usually I don't stay at camp halfblood this long."

The _I'm still here because of you_ went unsaid, but Nico was sure Leo heard it. He hoped he did, at least.

XXXXX

When Hazel and Frank arrived the next day, there was lots of celebration. Nico had left early, just a few minutes after dropping them off, slinking into the darkness of the forest. He didn't like being surrounded by people, it made him anxious.

It wasn't long before Hazel came to find him.

"Nico! Are you alright?" Her voice was filled with worry and immediately he felt guilty for leaving her side.

“I’m fine, sorry Hazel. It’s just… people, you know? It can be a bit overwhelming sometimes.

She nodded understandingly, and smiled at him.

“Well, come and join us when you’re ready, okay? I want to spend some time with you before Frank and I head back. Piper told me that you’ve been here for a few weeks, right?” She smiled at him, and he nodded. “That’s good, I’m glad you have friends here.”

She left him alone to ponder that. Did he have friends, or did he only have one?

XXXXX

He and Leo were sitting together at the edge of the forest, eating chicken legs and talking about the things they had been watching.

“Friends seriously went on for ten years?”

“Yeah! You’ve only seen one episode, but there are over two hundred!”

“... Woah. They must have a lot of story lines to do that.”

“Yeah! Both Rachel and Pheobe have kids, and Monica and Chandler get married, and adopt kids at the end, and Ross and Rachel get together like, three separate times!”

Nico frowned slightly. “What about Joey? He was my favourite.”

“I don’t think we ever find out what happens to Joey? I mean, when it ends he’s not in a relationship and he doesn’t have any kids. His acting career did well though. Personally I think he and Chandler should’ve ended up together, but, y’know, Monica and Chandler are pretty cute,” Leo said, absent-mindedly waving around a chicken drumstick. Nico froze at his words.

“... Chandler and Joey? But….” He bit his lip, wondering if the world really had changed enough to let two guys have a relationship on tv and not get any lashback. He highly doubted it. He highly doubted the majority of the world thought it was okay to have a relationship with someone of the same gender as you. Surely he had just found himself a group of people who were accepting? I mean, when you spent your life living in a world of gods and monsters, two guys kissing wasn’t a big deal, right? Or at least, Jason had told him it wasn’t. He hadn’t actually heard anyone say anything about it.

Leo was staring at him with an odd look on his face.

“What?” He asked, self conciously.

“Nothing, it’s just… I keep forgetting you come from the thirties, that’s all.”

Nico frowned, and open his mouth to reply, when he heard a soft cough coming from a few feet away. Annabeth was standing there nervously, and Nico nodded his head at her in welcome.

“Ah, it’s Little Miss Cleverclogs! How may we service you?” Leo said, waving his arms around for dramatic effect. Annabeth took a deep breath.

“Leo told us that he was educating you on pop culture,” she said to Nico. “And I was wondering if you’d like some lessons from me about the history you missed.”

“Yeah, that would be cool!” Although shocked by the offer, Nico was touched. “Can Hazel join too? She missed more than me.”

Annabeth blinked in surprise, but nodded. “Yeah, sure!”

“I’ll go and tell her now,” he said, standing up and dusting the mud off his trousers. He left the woods, before realising he’d left his plate of chicken legs, and doubling back to get it.

“You were right.”

Realising that Annabeth and Leo were talking, Nico slid behind a tree to listen.

“What?” Leo sounded shocked, as if he’d just heard something he’d never thought he’d hear.

“You were right,” Annabeth repeated. “Nico needs friends, and support, not people doubting him. We’re all gonna try harder. I think Percy said something about swimming lessons? Anyway, I’m sorry we all ganged up on you, it was cruel, and we were wrong.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Thank you,” Leo said, sincerely. “But it’s really not me you should be apologising to.”

Having heard enough, Nico stumbled away, into a shadow, traveling somewhere far away to think about what he had heard.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter  
> and im sorry to say this story is going on hiatus. i have autism and i get special interests, which shift and change. im no longer as obsessed with percy jackson as i was when i started this story, so im finding writing it very hard. i will probably come back to it at some point.   
> i know i left it on sort of a cliff hanger, so im gonna tell u that nico returns to camp half blood that night (leo had panicked, thinking he left for good).  
> i love u all, and im sorry again <333333


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